DEUTA

Rhynchostylis Retusa, কপৌ ফুল; Tinsukia, Assam, India. Courtesy: Harshita Deka

How far? How long?

I’m tired of walking on your footsteps.

Here is me, dying for a hand and you…

And you are standing still!
Knowing how failures can break one apart.

It feels so desolated, you know,

Away from the ones I care for,

Away from the land that

Made me the one I know myself to be.

Today, I wish I was never born.

But I knew you were there. Always.

For I could feel you

In the cold breeze of winter

When the sunlight poured

On my rotten skin.

I could hear you

In the hustle-bustle of

My plain, monotonous life

When the radio played the

Songs I liked the most.

I knew it was you.

For I could see you always

Upon closing my eyes

When a flicker of a candle

Guided me in the darkness.

In every beat of my heart

And every single time

I took a breath in

I could find you beside me.

Then, why not today?

There are failures all around

And I’m confused.

Is this the day you were waiting

To abandon me?

 To leave me in the middle of nothing?

I hope you’ve realized

I can never be like you;

But I promise, I’ll never let you down,

I just want you to come in my dreams, at least,

And smile at me

And I’ll remember that till eternity.